Calif-Redneck's Profile

Calif-Redneck's real name is Joe Gates. Joe is 49 years old, is located in California / USA and has been a SingSnap member since December 9, 2007. So far he has made a total of 194 recordings.

I am hard working, I immediately like anyone who can make me Laugh. You know those annoying people who find the good and humor in just about every situation? Well, I'm one of THEM. Humor and honesty are a must. I consider myself to be a quirky and downright weird person. I take great delight in the path less traveled and tend to think differently from the rest of the world."Life may not be the party we planned for...but while we are here, we might as well dance" I am 48-years old, live at about 6500ft in the mountains of California, Married, and have four children and twelve grandchildren.
Joe FartBlossom

My Open Duets
All my songs are always open for Duet or sing along! if anyone ever finds one closed just let me know! I'll open that sucker up! Even if to duet a duet!!!!
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(NEW) Duet - Whiskey Lullaby by Alison Krauss & Brad Paisley

(NEW) Duet - Let's Make Love by Faith Hill & Tim McGraw

Duet-There's A Tear In My Beer by Hank Williams & Hank Williams, Jr.

Duet-Rockin' Years by Dolly Parton & Ricky Van Shelton

Duet-Near You by Tammy Wynette & George Jones

Duet-Jackson by Johnny Cash & June Carter

Duet-You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma by David Frizzell & Shelly West

Duet - Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me by Elton John & George Michael
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Links to My Family .

Link to My Brother! ( CharlieOnly ) Singing Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now

Link to My Brother! ( CharlieOnly )

Link to My Brother! ( calif-rednecks-bro )

Link to Wild Uncle Bill Elmore! ( Goose_Creek )

Link to My Nephew ( Roger_D )

Link to My Niece Stacy ( humvride )

Link to My Granddaughter Emily ( 7redemily )

Link to My Grandnephew Kyle ( I_like_Cheese )

Link to My Grandniece Alexis ( LexiLou )

______________________
A True Redneck - Not your typical redneck joke.

We all have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country, and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns, and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of.

You might be a redneck if: You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a redneck if: You treat all veterans with great respect, and always have.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

God Bless

. . . . FEMALE PRAYER Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep. One who's handsome, smart and strong; one who loves to listen long. One who thinks before he speaks; one who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray for a man who's gainfully employed and when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. One who'll pull out my chair, open my door, massage my back, and beg to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind and knows the the right answer to, "How big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end and will always be my very best friend. Amen.

MALE PRAYER I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a Nascar track. . This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a darn. Amen.

-----W-A-R-N-I-N-G--M-U-S-H-Y--S-T-U-F-F--A-H-E-A-D-----

I MISS YOU MOM

I miss the warmth of your gentle hug and the love I felt when my arms were wrapped around you. I miss seeing your beautiful smile and the sound of your voice saying my name. I miss hearing you say, “I love you,” and me saying, “I love you” in return.

I miss saying “Mom” out loud. I miss not being able to find that special card for you, and then having found it, writing “To Mom” on it for yet another cherished Mother’s Day.

I miss your words of wisdom and our family without you in it. I miss the look in your eyes that traveled straight to my heart. I miss the gift of you in the life I have embraced from the day I was born. I miss YOU Mom!

I miss having you share the feelings that linger deep within my soul; there is emptiness there where you once were. I miss you saying…”this is my SON” and the look of pride you held with each word spoken.

I said goodbye to the part of me that held you and said, “You can go now” on that painful day!

And then, in the Grace of that moment.... I close my eyes and feel the warmth of your gentle hug once more and envision wrapping my arms around you. I see your smile as you say my name. I realize that if I could just go back into my precious memories of you I would find your treasured words of wisdom in a special place deep in my heart.

And then an overwhelming sense of peace and love surrounds me…because I suddenly realize that you already know and understand each feeling I hold within my soul before I feel it!

The part of me that let you go was the part of me that knew you would be the Angel who watched over me; that believed there truly was a God and that one day I would walk toward your wide open arms and hear you say, “This is my son; I love you; you can come now”!

And in the peace of that moment, angels flutter their wings and leave me…. knowing that I understand…. I am okay! You are with me in my heart!

We Love You Mom! Joe,Chuck,Larry,Jim,Ron.Randy,Gary and all the Grandkids.

by Millie P. Lorenz

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Once i told my mom that she didn't love me because she did't spank me like all my freinds got spanked from there parents.

She told me to go pick a twig off the tree in the front yard and she would show me just how much she loved me.

She had that look she would give you that was worse than a beating.

YES BY NOW YOU PROBABLY KNOW GOD GAVE ME THE GIFT TO GAB LOL

What us rednecks do Saturday nights is what any self-respecting redneck would do, You'll find us at our local OrageShow Speedway ¼ mile Race Track and getting as rowdy as we can get,

Orangeshow figure 8 race

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Orangeshow Speedway 4/28/07

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roger gates #51 main event win 08-26-2007 orange show speedway

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semi dragster burnout

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Race #3 June 2nd, 2007

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Let nothing hold you back from exploring your wildest fantasies, wishes, and aspirations. Don't be afraid to dream big and to follow your dreams wherever they may lead you. Open your eyes to their beauty. Open your mind to their magic. open your heart to their possibilities. Whether they are in color or in black and white, Whether they are big or small, easily attainable or almost impossible, look to your dreams, and make them become reality. Wishes and hopes are nothing until you take the first step towards making them something! Because only by dreaming will you ever discover who you are, what you want, and what you can do. Don't be afraid to take risks, to become involved, to make a commitment. Do whatever it takes to make your dreams come true. Always believe in miracles, and always believe in you!

What My Mother Taught Me
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet.
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!
My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
THANKS, MoM!

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