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CBenton's Profile

You know, I never really know what to put in "about me" sections. Do you write a summary of your life up to this point or just a one liner? I mean, do you REALLY want to know ALL about me? Or are you just being polite? No no... it's okay. You don't have to read this section. You can just go straight to the songs I've recorded. No seriously, it's okay. I didn't want to tell you anything about me anyway. What? No I'm not crying! I had something in my eye. My allergies are acting up. I just saw one of those sappy Hallmark commercials with the daughter in the taxi cab... oh never mind... Just go on to my song list... you know you want to...

But seriously... does anyone really read these? Or do you just peruse it to catch key phrases like "I want to use your skin as a hat." Or how about "I like to take long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners and watching the stars on a clear night... before I go home, light black candles, put on The Cure and cry on my black pillow because I'm emo."

Disclaimer: I love The Cure. That in itself is not emo.

Ten things I have learned from the movies

1. You cannot leap tall buildings in a single bound... especially wearing the obligatory female's crime fighting attire of mini skirt and hooker heels.
2. Cute and furry woodland creatures do not come out of hiding and gather around you when you sing. They run. And people look at you funny. Besides, have you ever tried to sing to a woodland creature? It's a little unnerving.
3. If you live in a building with more than one floor and a knife wielding, half dead, psycho maniac comes to kill you, you will not survive. Psycho theory dictates that you must run up the stairs and find the stupidest hiding place ever. Ooh, he'll never find me in the closet.
4. You cannot drive and shoot a gun at the same time... I've heard.
5. You cannot break the 4th wall and talk to the camera in real life. People back away from you... slowly.
6. You cannot break out into song and dance and expect everyone around you to sing along... and be on key.
7. You cannot kick ass like Chuck Norris. It just cannot be done.
8. You cannot catch bullets with your teeth. I mean you can but it would probably be the last time you did it. Or anything else.
9. You cannot wear your superhero clothing underneath your regular clothes. It's itchy... and hot. And you look bloated.
10. Never fall in love with an alien. Long distance relationships are hell.