therapy rants

omg HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Number 1 hippie checking in.

Who's got the tofu?

excellent rant !

p.s. please don't cut my ponytail. i'm savin that for sumpin special :-)

Edited on July 7, 2008 at 4:29 AM Quote

Hey!!! I object to that! I just bought a bunch of white T-shirts at the $ store for my kids. All Hanes 2nd quality, coz they need clothes they can stain and mess up while they are at home for the summer, you know? And we were going to have a tie-dye session to make them all different and fun.....now, I'm not so sure, coz I don't want them to be labeled hippies....drat!

More power to Sugar's ponytail!!!!! ;-)))

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Sum is that the Berlin wall?

You look better without the "tail".

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Hehe, and what's up with his tongue? Totally hippie, lol!

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this is the kind of thread i can get into!! lol great rant! and i agree with you...THE TREES DID DO IT lol j/k..

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unbelievable is right!..i think im in love with your self proclaimed disfunctional self lol i agree with about everything in that rant...tho deep down i think we all wanna be hippies at some point or other lol i do think that some REAL hippies are sincere...but just the ones actually making some desperate actions to change something...or create something that might change something and so on... the image is all just so they'll be recognised for what they're trying to do..or be.. and so ppl who arent really trying to change things or do anything at all...except smoke pot..can say that they are hippies too! damn them fake hippies lol!! it's kinda like this guy i kno...ive known him all my life and he says he's known he was gay since he was 5...then he came out...and he changed...he started speaking different..and even dressing different. ..i pointed it out to him a while back and he told me that he thought that maybe since he came out he subconciously started doing those things in what he percieved to be the stereotypical way that other gay guys acted ...so that people would know he was gay and he wouldnt have to go thru the akwardness of telling them. i guess sometimes its a subconcious thing to act a stereotypical way so that peple will just know what u r or what u r trying to be..without u tellin them......anyways i started rambling that wasnt actually what was on my mind...i actually do intend on using this great thread as a means of therapy as well! i love the idea of that...i just had a little story/rant from something that happened to me the other day...have a dog named pongo & I was buying a large bag of Pal for him at walmart...

the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid lady...why else would I buy dog food??

dont ask me stupid questions!!!!!!

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hahaha! i love this..how come rants are always filled with such a treasure trove of dry humor and dripping with such sweet sarcasm?!?! i dunno...but i love it!

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everlastin_life wrote:Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

We used to have a dog that did that at the worst possible moments. Bloody minded sod he was, I could never be sure if he intended to do it on purpose right in the middle of the living room at every one of my mother's dinner parties.

My brother used to try to lighten things up when people would stop nibbling their vol-au-vents and gaze in horror at our mutt sat on his bum with his legs at 10 to 2:

"Wish I could do that" he'd say, to which I replied "Give him a biscuit and he might let you!"

Usually worked :-)

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well since the dog topic has come up...i thought i would share a blog rant i wrote late last nite on facebook...i'll just copy and paste it ...i think u guys will get a kick outta it and it gives me another outlet to rant from right lol? ..:

"Ok Dog, we need to talk.

Every time I take you out for a shit, the exact same series of events happen:
I get the blue leash and clip it to you
we go outside
I say "go potty"
you take a shit

Every walk ever starts with the blue leash and a shit. You do not know what the outdoors is like without taking a shit.

So why is this such a hard concept to understand right now?

You slept all evening (snoring, I might add) and at 11pm I noticed your eyes were at least open, so I decided it would be good to take you out for a dump. This, I assumed, would be one of those groggy potty breaks where you hobble down the stairs, squat, poop, hobble back up, and blearily settle back into your pillow to resume dreaming about the days when you still had balls.

Instead, you decided it was time for Fun Backyard Exploration. You had to smell every single clover before deciding to eat all of them. I kept hoping you were sniffing for a place to poop, but it was always just catching up on the latest "who walked by here" for every verticle surface available. Don't eat that. Put that down. Quit kicking dirt on me. Go potty. Go potty. I'm not holding this plastic bag and saying "go potty" for my own health, you know.

But nothing. So we go for a walk around the block, and you spend another 10 minutes wandering about the front yard. Seriously, you're picking a place to shit not snuffling for truffles. More pacing, more sniffing, but no squatting, so we go back to the backyard.

Another 5 minutes goes by and it becomes apparent that shitting is not on the agenda this evening, just smelling. Fine, we go inside, you go back to your crate, and I go to bed.

Just as I'm crawling in, I hear a squeak. Is it my roomate coming home? sqeak squeak, no, it's the 1am "but I really do have to poop" squeak. Fine, out we go again.

Once again you spend 5 minutes interrogating every bug (no, they don't want to be your friend. You always kill them) you make it clear that oh no, you don't want to poop, you want to play! look dog, it is one in the morning. Those times earlier today when I was waving a rope wildly while saying "get it! get it!" while you looked at me like I was retarded and sat around doing nothing? THOSE were times to play. But no, you spent the afternoon trying to take up ALL of my couch (I'm 3 times your size, why do you get 3/4ths of the couch?) and so NOW you want to play.

Unfortunately for you, I'm going to bed. Here's a stuffed animal that used to squeak (before you killed it), goodnight.

I'll see you at 4am."
i did see him at 4am

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Did somebody say hippies??? :O

*runs out*

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can we braid eachother's hair under the rainbow too??lol

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Sum_Southern_Sugar wrote:Number 1 hippie checking in.

Who's got the tofu?

excellent rant !

p.s. please don't cut my ponytail. i'm savin that for sumpin special :-)

I find something incredibly sexy about men with long hair. I adore Willie Nelson but for some reason when my husband starts growing his hair...I can't wait for him to get a haircut...he looks awful.

You look great with that ponytail. Do you still have it?

#3 hippie checking in too (no one wants to be #2)

I still won't wear a watch....if it's dark it's night and if it's light it's day.

I don't wear shoes except in public and then only Birkenstocks.

xxxooo Hippie Chick

Love the rant too!

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it's either The Berlin Wall or some old abandoned prison i 'toured'. i forget which.

Birkenstocks - ugh - don't make me write a rant !

* hope i don't lose my hippie membership card for that un *

Edited on July 7, 2008 at 10:09 PM Quote

come back Ashley - we're gonna fly kites :-)

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I'm number #2! haha

... and yes, I love long hair!!!

Don't worry Steven, a birkenstock rant wouldn't lose you any hippie points! They only remind me of QVC now LOL! (nothing wrong with that though *ahem*)

*gets out kite, and puts away rainbow gun* :)

Edited on July 7, 2008 at 10:27 PM Quote

Sum_Southern_Sugar wrote:it's either The Berlin Wall or some old abandoned prison i 'toured'. i forget which.

Birkenstocks - ugh - don't make me write a rant !

* hope i don't lose my hippie membership card for that un *

Don't rant about my shoes...they aren't all ugly! I have hot pink ones, red ones, green ones, etc. I only have about 30 pairs.

I compliment you and you insult me...well I never! (but I always meant to...lol)

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ok here's my rant! LOL

I went into to see my Doctor to have my blood work done and get checked out in General.I come back for results and she tells me that my blood levels are extremely low. That I should be at 12 but I am at 6. I am like, what does that mean? She says that I am extremely anemic and if I start feeling dizzy and disoriented that I need to go into the hospital and have a blood transfusion. She SCARED ME! LOL. She tells me calm down, it's ok, take 2 iron pills a day and you should see improvement. I told her that a couple of weeks prior to me see'ing her that I had broke into cold sweats at work and felt dizzy, twice. SO, she said that if I felt that way again to go in to the ER. Well 2 nights later, I woke-up twice in the mddle of the night very much disoriented. I know my way around my house to go to the bathroom in the dark. I hit everything in sight and bruised pretty much instantly. Next morning, after a few minutes of being awake and out of bed, it happened again and I was dizzy. Called my bf and in I go to the ER. OMG! My worse experience ever with the ER.They took hours to get me in, then HOURS to get the blood work started. Then they tell me that I need 2 pints and will be staying overnight. As it is, I was already getting over the flu, well at least I thought I was. Staying overnight and in the hospital made it worse. I didn't get a room like I was told. I was left stranded in some hallway where there were lots of beds with PRISONERS!!! I was scared to go to sleep, not that Icould go to sleep since I couldn't stop coughing. Finaly a day later, they put me in a room, after they admitted that they had forgotten me. I end up with a respiratory infection at this point cuz of the person that was next to me waiting to get a room as well. At the same time, I have this big puss ball coming out of my lower jaw. I had an infection from a molar that was so big, I couldn't even eat.I was in pain from that and coughing like no tomorrow. They would not give me more medicine for the cough, so I basicaly, didn't sleep for 3 days. Now, since they are trying to figure out what is wrong with me. They do a Cat scan, a endoscopy, a colonoscopy and some other kinda scan. Blood taken out every 4 hrs. No sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't quit coughing. I was going insane. Finaly, they tell me I have hemroids. I was like really?I told you they flared up for the first time ever back in November and that may be once a month I spot some blood from there. It was the worse food I have ever had in a hospital. THe nurses were rude, they would not give me meds for the respiratory infection, no meds for the pain I was feeling for my molar that was infected. It was just terrible. I was like, what kinda hospital is this? I have a deep threshold for pain but I was in pain from everywhere. Finally, they tell me, that everything seems fine and I can go home. They gave me cough medicine for the cough and an albuterol inhalator. The only thing stopping me from coughing was Nyquil cuz their meds did nothing. THis is in Febuary folks. Usually when I get a cold/flu, I end up with a lingering cough. A month passes by and my cough aint getting better and I keep losing my voice. Test results come back, I have no cancer of anykind but my lymphnoids seem to swollen more than usual and my blood levels have come up a point. Oh and a possibility, I may have colitis. Now after getting out of the hospital, I start bleeding more for almost every other time that I go to the bathroom. No hemroids coming out, so they must be inside. Sex is getting uncomfortable cuz of them and I mention it to the Gastroentologist and he says oh no, its not from that, talk to your Gynocologist. Ok, so I go see her and she tells me, everything looks good down there and the pain IS from the hemroids. Bleeding gets worse and the cough aint stopping. It is now the end of March and my work is asking when my cough is going to go away cuz it seems to be getting worse. I go see my doctor and she says, you have bronchitis. Ok, so I get meds for that and I think, oh yes finally, I can get back to singing and gigging. Ten days pass and meds did absolutely nothing. Go back to see the Dr and she says it could be allergies. I told her that in the past I have taken allegra and flonase. SO, she gives them to me. It seems to work some but still coughing and now lots of phlegm to go with it. It is now May and they are thinking I may have tuberculosis. I get tested for it and came back negative. Ok, then what is wrong? Lets have X-rays done. Those come back and they come back clean, nothing in my lungs, healthy as a horse lol. Bleeding is getting worse and worse every day. Soon, I am going to end up back in hospital for what I went in for to begin with and still don't know what is wrong? LOL
I go see a General Surgery doctor now in June and he is asking me why am I now see'ing him when these tests for my lymphnoids were taken back in february? They were taken 4 months ago, this is unbelievable he says, I agreed. He says well, let's see if I can feel them. He feels nothing, so he doesn't seem to concern. He says when they are swollen there is concern cuz they flare up from infection. I told him that at the time I was getting over the flu and had a tooth infection. He says, that could be the cause of it but to make sure, we are doing another cat scan. Had it done 2 weeks ago and will find out what all that is about soon. I have another colonoscopy done next week and this MOnday, I have another ultra sound down,t his will be my 3rd one.
One would think that after all these tests, they could tell me something? LOL
As far as my cough goes, my dr is sending me to the ENT( Ear, nose and throat, dr) and a pulmonologist. Still waiting on those appointments. Wish they would hurry up. Been with this cough for 5 months now and my voice is getting worse!!!!!!! My bf thinks that they may have damaged by vocal chords when they did the endoscopy but that I can't do anything about it cuz I signed a waiver to have it done. UGHHHH!!!!
I just want to know what the f'n is wrong with me, so they can give me the meds for it and fix me back to health. I am so sick of being sick and sick of coughing and not being able to sing. I destress with singing, if I can't sing, I can't release stress!!! Grrrr, if I can't sing, I can't gig. If I can't gig, that is less money in my pocket!!!!!
I am going to kill me a few doctors reallllllllllsooonnnnnnnnnnn!!!

Ok, feel better. Rant over LOL
BTW, this was the short version. Their are more Dr appts and tests that I didn't mention but I could be here for months telling ya'll about it LOL ;)
At the moment to keep my cough to a minimum, I eat Halls like candy and nqyuil is my drug of choice LOL

Edited on July 7, 2008 at 10:47 PM Quote

< flashes the peace sign to R

* and stays ten feet away from cheeky *

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Know what I'm sick of seeing?

The fraction of a penny part on the price of a gallon of gas.

I mean - c'mon - when was the last time it wasn't 9/10th's ? 1960's maybe?

Are they thinkin they might sell gas for $4.19 and 7/10th's anytime soon?

*squirts Ashley with a super soaker filled with cherry Koolade *

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Whoa!!! Backs away slooowwwwly from Cheeky, and discreetly puts away all the sharp implements.

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I'd rant about Crocs too, but we already had an entire thread devoted to that particual travesty :-)

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c'mon J

all those scary words ya know, and now you're ducking?

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Know what I can't stand? Women who feel it necessary to totter on 8" heels in front of me on a crowded sidewalk. I walk briskly, with a purpose, and I get aggravated if there's no clear path. And tottering is dangerous......and NOT sexy.

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Sum_Southern_Sugar wrote:c'mon J

all those scary words ya know, and now you're ducking?

Heck, even I know my limits!! ;-)

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Jacqui wrote:Know what I can't stand? Women who feel it necessary to totter on 8" heels in front of me on a crowded sidewalk. I walk briskly, with a purpose, and I get aggravated if there's no clear path. And tottering is dangerous......and NOT sexy.

buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

no - i'm sorry - that's the wrong answer

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Good grief, Jess!

What a nightmare (erasing the RN part of my screen name before getting hit with a shoe)

I hope you get some answers soon. That is too long to be sick and not have a definitive diagnosis.

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See? She has weapons!

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Jacqui wrote:See? She has weapons!

Those of you in heels are screwed, Me and my Birkenstocks are sooooo outta here!

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lol

they're gonna hve to power teeter

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I really like you all but if Cheeky is coming with weapons or if zombies are after us, I'm tripping you all!

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I'm gonna have just a small rant because I'm too busy right now to rant much.

I don't do fast food often but what's the deal with...would you like an apple pie, would you like something to drink, etc.

I can read, I can verbalize the items I would like, does the suggestion REALLY make some people go ahead and order something else?

I am sooo tempted to say "Did I ORDER an apple pie? Did I ORDER a drink? Then NO I don't F'in want a pie or a drink".

That's all for right now.

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They are supposed to ask...It's part of their job... :)

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a drink is prolly at least 50 percent profit margin. that's why u must have one! :-)

oh, and that's why they now sell total meal packages

same at mcdonald's, subway, etc etc

pretty soom they'll be selling meals that include a pair of sunglasses and an umbrella

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ya know how plane can crash and that little red box
always survives why? dont they make the plane out of
the sam fn material as the red box

why dont they call hemroids astroids and astroids hemroids?

the teflon pan non stick if its so non stick how do they get it to stick to the pan

why is it that people always turn down the radio in their car while they are looking for an house adress

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goddam carls jr if it doesnt get all over the place
remember that saying remember ever having nice clean
jeans on then plop a nice big drop of a compo of
kesup mustard mayo mix lands right on your brand new
fn pants GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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RNNAL wrote:I'm gonna have just a small rant because I'm too busy right now to rant much.

I don't do fast food often but what's the deal with...would you like an apple pie, would you like something to drink, etc.

I can read, I can verbalize the items I would like, does the suggestion REALLY make some people go ahead and order something else?

I am sooo tempted to say "Did I ORDER an apple pie? Did I ORDER a drink? Then NO I don't F'in want a pie or a drink".

That's all for right now.

Yup, just like your server at a restaurant. Would you like something to drink? Perhaps a margarita or a corona?
Then when you are half way through your meal, "don't forget to leave room for dessert? or " would you care for a cheesecake or chocolate mousse cake?"
It is putting the suggestion in their minds and some will tell you, well bring me a coke first and while you are gone, they are looking at the drink menu lol or they tell you, not sure, when you come back we'll see. Once again while the server is gone, they are looking at the dessert menu. When you return, their is a 50-50% chance they will order that suggestion and your sales go up and so does your tip. Sometimes that fails and their goes the tip cuz they just used that money for their dessert LOL ;)

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RNNAL wrote:

Sum_Southern_Sugar wrote:Number 1 hippie checking in.

Who's got the tofu?

excellent rant !

p.s. please don't cut my ponytail. i'm savin that for sumpin special :-)

I find something incredibly sexy about men with long hair. I adore Willie Nelson but for some reason when my husband starts growing his hair...I can't wait for him to get a haircut...he looks awful.

You look great with that ponytail. Do you still have it?

#3 hippie checking in too (no one wants to be #2)

I still won't wear a watch....if it's dark it's night and if it's light it's day.

I don't wear shoes except in public and then only Birkenstocks.

xxxooo Hippie Chick

Love the rant too!

whew! I'm glad I'm not the only one that was finding Steven incredibly sexy in this pic... or maybe I am... but I doubt it *ggls*

* copy and saves to w4 bank *

:D

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is the W4 bank a good place to be?

sounds a lil scary :-O

lol - Hi Jenna :-)

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oops.. that was supposed to be wank bank... but I edited myself first... last time I said wank bank.. I got edited...

* waits for it again* lol

Hey Shuga daddy! xD

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Terri wrote:They are supposed to ask...It's part of their job... :)

I understand it at a restaurant where the tip is based on the sale.

I know they are supposed to suggestive sell too. I'm talking about.

I order.
They say "would you like an apple pie."
I say "no thank you."
They say "would you like a coke."
I say "no thank you, just a total."
They say, "anything else".

It is FAST food for a reason. I wouldn't stop there if I wasn't in a hurry. I only want what I ordered and short of being downright rude, how am I supposed to get them to just give me my total and let me go.

I suppose I could say "and that's my final answer" when I finish my order. or " and nothing else".

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they know it annoys some folks

but, guess what? - some folks, say 'oh yeah - a cherry pie too' and

drumroll.......

they calculated all of that out and it's worth it to em.

it's a profit deal ;-)

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lmao

good thing i hid my walker outa frame then, eh Jenna?

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