Morals

I'm pretty much a "golden rule' guy.

you know..Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

is that what ya mean?

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ah, sex before marriage. That was what I was aiming for LOL. In my family, ( mexican practices) if you are not married by the age of 17, when you turn 18, you are an OLD-MAID. LMAO
I was a senior in highschool when I turned 18. I was engaged to be married but I have lived in the states since I was around the age of 10. Getting married right out of highschool, was the last thing on my mind. Wanted to go to college, get a job and then get married. Well, when my fiancee came back from the Gulf War, he was a different person and he decided he needed to be alone for a while. Well, my family stamped OLD-MAID on me and my mom gave me a box of condoms. She decided that since I wasn't going to get married, that I may as well have safe sex LOL. I didn't get married till I was 22yrs old and had only lost my virginity a year earlier to the man I married. I may not have waited till after I was married BUT, it was with the man I married. Does that count? hehe

Edited on December 4, 2007 at 10:45 PM Quote

My morals go along with natural law.kinda. Things that seem acceptable. Not to judge, to be kind, to help, to be open minded, to be grateful, to be respectful. etc. I don't get hung up on things like sex before marriage because then you go against natural law by judging. My morality is more general. To just be the best me I can be and to treat others the way I would want to be treated. This has worked for me thus far LOL

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Well.. I am not sure you agree with my morals Cherie. But let me see if I can explain . First off I am a good person who treats other people very well.. I am however human so I do get caught up sometimes in things like on these boards which in my real life, I never do or act this way.. I am sure you know to what I am referring..

I sometimes think after I do something.. I do it then something inside of me says. Diane you blew it... Should not have done that..

I try my hardest to live the way God would want me to but often I fall short of that..

As far as sex before marriage or not in marriage.. I did both.. do I think it was wrong? I wanted to and swore I would be a virgin until I was married but. I did marry that man.. So I did not keep true to myself.

I live with someone now not married and yes I have sex.. Do I think it's wrong.. NO... I love him.. I am not sleeping around which that I do believe is wrong. Being married does not make a person not have sex outside of marriage trust me on that...

I do think that my parents raised me in a very protective way.. I grew up with a lot of peer pressure. I was a teen in the 70's .. Drugs . Drinking.. Sex.. Of which I did not partake in any of it. Not because my parents said not to.. But because I did not have the desire to get involved.

I think morals can sometimes be looked at by one person in a completey different view point..

I do think teens today have it just as hard as any teens of any time. No more pressure than me.. Just different ones.

I do believe I have some morals that I would like to think are good ones.. I also do have my moments.

But this is something that each person has to decide on their own. Someone else can't tell you what you do is not moral. That would be judgeing.. :)

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Cherie,
I have a pretty strict moral code I apply to myself. Odd thing is I do NOT expect others to follow it. I wish they could/would but I accept that peeps do not necessarily have the same values I do. Here are a few tenets of my moral credo.

1) Family may be blood but that does not mean I have to endorse everything they do. They want to treat me badly, then begone with them. That's why I have little to no contact with my gazillion relatives other than my brother and mother. Even my brother gets chewed out if he starts acting badly towards me.

2) Be kind. Yes. I do lose my temper on occasion but for the most part, I find the old adage you catch more flies with honey than vinegar really does work well. It is more than treat people like you want to be treated. It is be kind to them IN SPITE of them being unkind. When that doesn't work, walk away.

3) Don't lie. I get in trouble all the time for my honesty. It can be rather brutal. I do try very hard to keep silent rather than say what I believe IF I know it has the likelihood of hurting someone. If they push for my view, then I no longer have ownership of the responsibility for their response.

4) Work for a living. I'm a firm believer in the adage, you don't work, you don't eat.

5) Do not be a victim. Crap happens in everyone's life. Do not allow that to prevent you from defining your future.

6) Your past determined who you are today but not who you become tomorrow.

7) Stand firm on what I believe until convinced by constructive input my beliefs are in error.

Those are broad brush things but that gives you a starting place.

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I "think" I have high morals, and I "try" to not be judgemental(hard for me though). I think people who do lots of"sex" things with alot ofpeople are gross. Can't help it. Think of all the diseases alone!!!(see,judgemental again). Divorce goes against my families beliefs too. Not to say it doesn't happen in our family, but I have to admit, we look down on it(judgemental again!)My family is also really big on that college degree.If you don't have it,they look down on you. I don't feel the same way...but I do not have a choice in whether to go to college or not...no one in myfamily did in the past either.I know i will never be allowed to seriously pursue a singing,dancing, acting career.They look down on that.
I don't believe being gay is a choice any more than the color of your skin. I don't believe my religion is the"right" one...

Ok. I have a question. How can anybody be moral, without being judgemental??????

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Amy, my response to the moral without being judgmental is that we set standards for ourselves and do not ask nor expect others to follow them. I can only judge what is right or wrong for me. I can tell someone else their choice doesn't work for me but that isn't the same as being judgmental.

Edited on December 5, 2007 at 12:10 AM Quote

I'd be here for days trying to write something but I keep backspacing....grrrrr!!!

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I am always trying to be more open-minded, but it's hard. Even harder in school. This place is a much more open minded group.I really like that. My Mom is much more open-minded than my Dad, but not when it comes to the whole college degree, career choice thing. No budging there.
Well, I'm going off topic. Thanx Peachy.
Oh and thanks Miss tellissa too.

Edited on December 5, 2007 at 12:16 AM Quote

I didnt offer any words of wisdom...but thanks !!!I'm just sitting here listening to you sing I Dont Wanna Lose You....That sounds like a really hard song. You really really sound like Gloria....

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OMG!!! Thankyou!!!

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Well Peachy beat me to it. When I said you would be judgeing someone. What I meant was my morals are mine. Yours are what you consider morals for your own life.. I can't tell you that what you think is right is wrong. Then I am judgeing you.. :)

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You have a very mature voice for your age....thats awesome!!!

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I know...I mean, I always hear that. I look older, i sound older, I act older....thanx.

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you're so cute Amy, i don't care how old you are! heheh! I'd tell ya you're cute even if you were 70. ;o)

I forgot to add that being honest is like my #1 thing. that and respect. But respect can go hand in hand with understanding, someone who wasn't brought up to respect others won't respect anybody, so understanding has to kick in at some point.....

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There is really a lot that can be said about "morals":

My favorite is though that there is need for each "hand" big or tiny.. You can see we can't be good at everything therefore it is wonderful that we are so different, to compliment each other. We need each other.

Our "talents" are defined by our past.. From birth we notice somethings more than others, that makes us gradually adept at certain things by dedicating them time and attention, but at the same time choosing this we make a choice to dedicate less time to other things.. Our weakness is our strength and vice versa.. Things we can't there are other people thet excell at..

Here is a little story supporting same concept.

The Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the masters house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his masters house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your masters house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts." The pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the masters house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the Pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pots side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my masters table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We re all cracked pots. But the cracks are our strengths at the same time. :o)

Edited on December 5, 2007 at 12:40 AM Quote

K' now I'm getting even more stuck up!!! So back to morals.

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I really liked that Allright.

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I think that morals are subjective. In our civilization, we adopt the Ten Commandments as our morality code. Thou shalt not steal, lie, commit adultery etc.... And that for the most part sets us up to be a "moral" society when we abide by these.
But there are societies for example, that view sex differently. I watched one on Discovery channel some time ago, where once per year, the women (married or single) are allowed to sleep with any and as many men as they choose, within a specific 3 day period. Can't remember if this was a region in Brazil or Africa.
And then there is the "monogamy" code that most Westerners practice, but some societies approve and encourage polygamy.
My question is this: What makes these behaviours immoral?
The polygamists could view our monogamy as immoral, because by having one mate, we limit our ability and potential to populate the earth.
Should we regard the society where the women get their three erogenous days as immoral too? After all, this is what they have been living for centuries, handed down through many generations.
I am thinking that it (morality) is defined by the code of behaviours that you adopt for your own life. And if you don't agree with me, that's fine, but then don't judge me by your own standards.

And if I rambled above, blame a combination of Acetaminophen, Diphenhydramine HCI and Phenylephrine HCI. They say it's the "non-drowsy" type, but they didn't say it wouldn't make me higher than a kite right about now, lol!

Edited on December 5, 2007 at 10:54 AM Quote

Monique wrote:I liked that too Zaher. I've read that before somewhere. My point in posting this thread was not to judge anyone; let me make that perfectly clear. I had seen a post way back on one of the boards referring to "moralists" as if it was a bad word and that's what prompted this thread. I don't have much time here this morning (sick child, heading to a Dr. appt.), but I'll be back later on. Thanks to everyone that posted.

I am hijacking this thread, but it's legal I'm family. Get Better Ce!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Monique wrote:I liked that too Zaher. I've read that before somewhere. My point in posting this thread was not to judge anyone; let me make that perfectly clear. I had seen a post way back on one of the boards referring to "moralists" as if it was a bad word and that's what prompted this thread. I don't have much time here this morning (sick child, heading to a Dr. appt.), but I'll be back later on. Thanks to everyone that posted.

Oh I just wanted to contribute.. Hope that was clear!
Wishes for your child to get better very soon.

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I'm not trying to start a fight or anything, I'm just curious.

Why is it that people, by and large, are so obsessed with what other people are doing sexually?

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dp wrote:I'm not trying to start a fight or anything, I'm just curious.

Why is it that people, by and large, are so obsessed with what other people are doing sexually?

LMFAO!!!! Maybe coz they can learn a few tips from it, get turned on by reading it or are just plain nosey!!! ;)

Edited on December 5, 2007 at 9:08 PM Quote

Pardonnez moi.

Edited on December 5, 2007 at 9:35 PM Quote

dp wrote:I'm not trying to start a fight or anything, I'm just curious.

Why is it that people, by and large, are so obsessed with what other people are doing sexually?

I dont know...have you got any home vids you can sell me? LOL

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My morals are a mix of common decency, human instinct and universal morality.
The Judae/Christian commandments are only 10 moral codes, but doesnt cover a whole range of decency and moral situations, for example theres no commandment regarding paedophilia.

Edited for spelling mistakes its 4am here lol

Edited on December 5, 2007 at 11:16 PM Quote

I just want to second everything AlyKat said...

That's all.... :)

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Getting back to the topic at hand....

I think morals are just a person's perception of right and wrong. It is hard to define them beyond that, because what one person's conscience allows, another person's doesn't. It's a tricky subject. It is hard for me to look at it from a non-religious viewpoint, because of the way I was raised.

I think my answer is "I don't know". Beyond my own Christian view of morality.... I can't imagine what morality could mean....... it actually boggles my mind a little to even think about it haha....

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I took too long to write my post LOL.... when I started writing it, we were off topic.... so now my "Getting back to the topic at hand" looks kinda of odd....

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dizzybummer wrote:My morals are a mix of common decency, human instinct and universal morality.
The Judae/Christian commandments are only 10 moral codes, but doesnt cover a whole range of decency and moral situations, for example theres no commandment regarding paedophilia.

Edited for spelling mistakes its 4am here lol

The..commandments..are..written..as..one..commandment..each
but,.cover..many..things..Thou..shall..not..commit..adultery..also..covers
fornication,bestiality,pedophilia..and..any..other..sexual..perversion.

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There are many different ways to hurt others, too....

not just physically.... but mentally, emotionally, spiritually....

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scarlettohall wrote:

dizzybummer wrote:My morals are a mix of common decency, human instinct and universal morality.
The Judae/Christian commandments are only 10 moral codes, but doesnt cover a whole range of decency and moral situations, for example theres no commandment regarding paedophilia.
Edited for spelling mistakes its 4am here lol

The..commandments..are..written..as..one..commandment..each
but,.cover..many..things..Thou..shall..not..commit..adultery..also..covers
fornication,bestiality,pedophilia..and..any..other..sexual..perversion.

I beg to differ.
The commandment wasnt "Thou shalt not commit adultery, have anal sex, paedophilia, fornication, bestiality, foot worship, and any other sexual perversion"
To quote from the bible:
"Do not commit adultery."
Adultery is defined as sexual intercourse between a man and a married woman who is not his wife.

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Monique wrote:Heidi, I also took a long time to write my post. When I started, yours wasn't there.

I'm going to guess, based on previous discussion we've had, that you hold similar morals to me. Why would you look at it from a non religious view point? I think religion and morals go hand in hand. Not saying atheists have no morals, but for the most part, the "code" of right and wrong that the world in general follows, comes from religion in some form or the other.

Even satanists have a code of morality.
Although people might misconscrue those morals as immoral, satanists think they are moral.
Morality is a matter of perception.
Whereas one person might think it cruel to beat their pet, another will think its normal. (for the record I dont hurt animals before people getthe wrong idea, im a humanist, I have morals lol)

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Dizzy,
Depending on which Biblical dictionary one uses, the word adultery is described in various ways. The broadest one uses the figurative usage of the word adultery to indicate do not engage in idolatry. Idolatry practices of the time when Exodus was supposedly written did include many acts considered sexually perverse. These acts included the specifics of the definition you provided as well as fornication, bestiality, pedophilia and ritualistic sex between multiple, same sex and different sex partners.

I guess it all depends on which reference one wants to consider as the standard.

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yikes aunt cher I'm so not on that boat with you. I think having such strong "morals" does in fact make a person judgemental because they become a check list of someone you would consider living a moral life.
And by your check list, I can cross off 90% of our family from it, I think that is why my outlook on life is a broad one. Because so many people I know and love live beyond the standard cultural/religious morals..
but I love ya anyway. ;o)

edit to make sure it is clear that I don't think you are judgemental, but believing something you wouldn't do yourself would put a strain on how you look at someone who is doing those things in general...predisposition I guess.

Edited on December 6, 2007 at 1:17 AM Quote

well hello peach :o)

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Hi Mz Aly. I'm still lurking about. Is close to finals for me and that is a very busy time.

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I have a chem 2 presentation tomorrow at 7pm I cant even sleep... its from summer semester though I had an incomplete cause I missed it (went to the doc with chest pains....peptic ulcer caused by stress...who knew)

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peachygurl wrote:Dizzy,
Depending on which Biblical dictionary one uses, the word adultery is described in various ways. The broadest one uses the figurative usage of the word adultery to indicate do not engage in idolatry. Idolatry practices of the time when Exodus was supposedly written did include many acts considered sexually perverse. These acts included the specifics of the definition you provided as well as fornication, bestiality, pedophilia and ritualistic sex between multiple, same sex and different sex partners.

I guess it all depends on which reference one wants to consider as the standard.

Idolatry is unfaithfulness to god/ the worship of other gods.
Dont know whats that to do with sexual perversions, unless your talking about the sexual acts done in worship of these other gods?
But not all sexual perversions are related to idol worship in fact very little perversions are done in a religious context.

Edited on December 6, 2007 at 1:42 AM Quote

Yes Dizzy, that is what I'm referring to regarding idolatry.

Again, it is a matter of what one uses as a standard. I'm honestly not trying to argue. It doesn't matter to me if one wants to label morals according to a religious understanding/teaching or if one wants to use an acceptance of social moires of a culture. Guess to me still boils down to what does one use as a standard.

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Could it be that perverted sexual acts are lumped in there with everything that separates us from God, which would be idolatry (putting something before God)?

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hahahaha..after reading all this, I see I was way off the the mark with my answer

but I'm stickin' with it.

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