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Narcissism - Game of Pawns I wanted to share parts of this VERY interesting article here. It should make some people aware that they need to be careful when dealing with others. I had to condense it. Watch out for the following covert manipulation tactics when you’re dating someone or in any other kind of relationship: The Idealization-Devaluation-Discard Phase Narcissists and those with antisocial traits tend to subject romantic partners through three phases within a relationship. The idealization phase (which often happens most strongly during the early stages of dating or a relationship) consists of putting you on a pedestal, making you the center of his/her world, being in contact with you frequently, and showering you with flattery and praise. You are convinced that the narcissist can’t live without you and that you’ve met your soulmate. Be wary of: constant texting, shallow flattery and wanting to be around you at all times. This is a technique known as “love-bombing” and it is how most victims get sucked in: they are flattered by the constant attention they get from the narcissist. You may be fooled into thinking that this means a narcissist is truly interested in you, when in fact, he or she is interested in making you dependent on their constant praise and attention. The devaluation phase is subsequent to this idealization phase, and this is when you’re left wondering why you were so abruptly thrust off the pedestal. The narcissist will suddenly start to blow hot and cold, criticizing you, covertly and overtly putting you down, comparing you to others, stonewalling you, emotionally withdrawing from you and giving you the silent treatment when you’ve failed to meet their extreme “standards.” Since the “hot” aspect of this phase relies on intermittent reinforcement in which the narcissist gives you inconsistent spurts of the idealization phase throughout, you become convinced that perhaps you are at fault and you can “control” the narcissist’s reactions.You are mislead into thinking that if you just learn not to be so “needy” or “clingy,” the narcissist will reward you with the loving behavior he or she demonstrated in the beginning. These are words that narcissists often use to demean victims when abuse victims mourn the loss of the idealization phase or react normally to being provoked. It’s a way to maintain control over your legitimate emotional reactions to their stonewalling, emotional withdrawal and inconsistency. During the discard phase, the narcissist abandons his or her victim in the most horrific, demeaning way possible to convince the victim that he or she is worthless. This could range from: leaving the victim for another lover, humiliating the victim in public, blatantly ignoring the partner for a long period of time, being physically aggressive and a whole range of other demeaning behaviors to communicate to the victim that he or she is no longer important. Although “normal” relationships can end in a similar this manner as well, the difference is that the narcissist often makes it clear he or she intends to hurt you by giving you the silent treatment, spreading rumors about you, cheating on you, insulting you and disrespecting you during the discard phase. Unlike “normal” partners, they ensure that you never have closure, and if you decide to leave them, they might decide to stalk you to show that they still have control. Narcissists are masters of making you doubt yourself and the abuse. This is why victims so often suffer even after the ending of a relationship with a narcissist, because the emotional invalidation they received from the narcissist made them feel powerless in their agency and perceptions. This self-doubt enables them to stay within abusive relationships even when it’s clear that the relationship is a toxic one, because they are led to mistrust their own instincts and interpretations of events. Smear campaigns.Narcissists keep harems because they love to have their egos stroked and they need constant validation from the outside world to confirm their grandiose sense of self-importance and fulfill their need for excessive admiration. Narcissists like to manufacture love triangles and bring in the opinions of others to validate their point of view. They do this to an excessive extent in order to play puppeteer to your emotions. In the book Psychopath Free by Peace, the method of triangulation is discussed as a popular way the narcissist maintains control over your emotions. Triangulation consists of bringing the presence of another person into the dynamic of the relationship, whether it be an ex-lover, a current mistress, a relative, or a complete stranger. Unlike healthy relationships where jealousy is communicated and dealt with in a productive manner, the narcissist will belittle your feelings and continue inappropriate flirtations and affairs without a second thought. Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control and keeps you in check — you’re so busy competing for his or her attention that you’re less likely to be focusing on the red flags within the relationship or looking for ways to get out of the relationship. The manipulative, conniving charm that existed in the beginning is no more — instead, it is replaced by the genuine contempt that the narcissist felt for you all along. See, narcissists don’t truly feel empathy for others – so during the discard phase, they often feel absolutely nothing for you except the excitement of having exhausted another source of supply. You were just another source of narcissistic supply, so do not fool yourself into thinking that the magical connection that existed in the beginning was in any way real. It was an illusion, much like the identity of the narcissist was an illusion. It is time to pick up the pieces, go No Contact, heal, and move forward. You were not only a victim of narcissistic abuse, but a survivor. Owning this dual status as both victim and survivor permits you to own your agency after the abuse and to live the life you were meant to lead — one filled with self-care, self-love, respect, and compassion.
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My grandson asked me to write him a special song for his wedding and this is what I came up with. He made me sooooo proud to ask me to do this for him, I can't tell you how good it made me feel. Hope you like it and thanx for stopping. I was asked if I do all my own music and the answer is yes.... I write all my own lyrics and music. On This Special Day (MALE) As I stand before you – on this special day I promise you my love – each and everyday A love that will not falter – I’m giving you my heart It has always been yours – from the very start (Chorus) Now I’ll show the world - how much I love you By saying two little word’s – I do And before I go to sleep I’ll get on my knees and pray And give thanks to the lord – for this special day (FEMALE) As I stand before you – on this special day I promise I will show my love – to you in every way I will always love you – with all of my heart And I’ll always stand beside you – until death us do part Chorus) Now I’ll show the world - how much I love you By saying two little word’s – I do And before I go to sleep I’ll get on my knees and pray And give thanks to the lord – for this special day (Music break) (BOTH) With your love my life will be better – in every way We’ll start our new life together – on this special day We’ll show our love for each other – on this special day I love you
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This is a song I wrote and had my dear friend Gretchen Pittman sing for me. I hope you like it. Thanx for stopping and take care MOMENT’S WITH YOU Moment’s slip by – and in a blink they’re gone The night goes by - and then comes the dawn I just can’t get enough – of being with you Never have I – had feelings like this Since you came into my life– I just can’t resist Those special moments - that I spend with you (chorus) Not a day goes by – that I – don’t thank the lord above For sending you to me – to love And if the lord would grant me - only one wish He would find – at the top of my list More moments – moments with you (Little Break) Thoughts of you – get me through the day I just think of you – and our special way Of spending moments – my moments with you (Repeat Chorus) Ooooh more moments – moments with you (END)