Why turn off duet option?

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LadyLexxLEVEL 4

Post by LadyLexxGOLD

Why do some people turn off the duet function on their recordings? There are a lot of recordings on here I would love to duet on, but they are not open - what's the problem? I cant think of a positive reason for doing it - seems anti-social to me - can anyone change my mind on this?

tinkster

Reply by tinkster

I have mine turned off because I can not do a duet with another person, my volume levels prevent it. I always come off sounding extremely loud while they sound almost inaudible.

Also, some people don't want to do a duet with another person, that doesn't make them anti-social. It's just how they feel.

TerriLEVEL 5

Reply by Terri

Well certain songs people may not want anyone to duet with them.If it's a special song for someone.I wouldn't want people to sing the songs I sang for my husband for his b-day and our anniversary.But other songs would be fine.I also don't see it as anti-social.

CheekylilvixenLEVEL 2

Edited reply by CheekylilvixenGOLD

I turn it off cuz I don't feel that all songs are meant to be duets. Also alot of my songs already have a duet partner in the recording. So why would I want someone else to come and sing with me when I already have the duet. It's not being anti-social, it is a choice we have. Like Terri said, some songs are special to some and don't want someone elses voice on it.

dusty56LEVEL 30

Reply by dusty56GOLD

i have mine turned on but still wont let me record a song so people can duet with me, can someone tell me why cos i have tried always to get it to work...

Saint_PatrickLEVEL 14

Reply by Saint_Patrick

i have mine turned on but still wont let me record a song so people can duet with me, can someone tell me why cos i have tried always to get it to work...dusty56

it works,i just tested it and it went thru

dusty56LEVEL 30

Reply by dusty56GOLD

really!!! does it show up that you can duet with me tho? cos i t doesnt when i have saved and viewed the recording?

Saint_PatrickLEVEL 14

Reply by Saint_Patrick

yeah,we can see it but you,the original recorder cannot,so you good to go,find a partner now and invite them to sing with ya!!!!
peace

dusty56LEVEL 30

Reply by dusty56GOLD

awwwwwwww ty sweetie big hugsssss x dusty

CatBallouLEVEL 57

Reply by CatBallouGOLD

Why do some people turn off the duet function on their recordings? There are a lot of recordings on here I would love to duet on, but they are not open - what's the problem? I cant think of a positive reason for doing it - seems anti-social to me - can anyone change my mind on this?LadyLexx

I socialize with a great number of folks on here, but prefer to do it through pm, the message boards, or through instant messenger. I am one of those that has her duets turned off, because I prefer to duet with my better half, BlueScorpion.

There are occasions, when I have been asked to duet with others and times I have asked others for permission to duet with them. Depending on the song, there may or may not be a duet performed as a result.

It is a personal preferance, rather like turning the comments or ratings buttons to the off position. I am curious. Why do you feel that turning the duets off is antisocial?

ShyLynnLEVEL 3

Reply by ShyLynn

I'm in agreement with everyone else, I don't see it as anti social at all. If the song is meant to be a duet, I leave the option on, but if it's not a duet, then I turn the option off. It's just a choice. I also turn the embed freature off. The option is there to be used; much like the 1,2,3 and 4 on the ratings. Some people make use of those options, some don't. *shrugs* If you really want to duet with someone, why not just ask?

LadyLexxLEVEL 4

Reply by LadyLexxGOLD

OK Im slightly more comfortable with it now. If its a dedication or a song or performance that means a lot to you, I can see why you may want to keep it special, but thats not every recording surely?

You can make almost any song a duet, so turning off the option because its normally sung by one person doesnt seem like a good reason to me. Think of all the Marysol/Sunshine Princess duets we would all have missed out on.

The reason I think its being antisocial is that you are actively saying you dont want people to sing with you, and as the resulting duet doesnt appear on your page, or interfere with your original recording I think its a bit chirlish to turn the option off. I would never stop anyone from duetting with me, I find it very flattering and duetting is a great way of making friendships and connections on here.

If you are only wanting to duet with the special people in your life then you are limiting your social circle in a way. Not everyone wants to send private messages begging to do a duet either.

I appreciate its a personal choice, its just not something I would consider doing as I like the interaction of singing with others - thats one of the great things about this site.

I would hate to think that some people turn the duet option off because they think they are better than every one else and cant bear the thought of a poor singer joining in making them look bad. Or conversely, someone turning the duet option off because they dont think they are good enough to do a duet with.

So go on, leave those recordings open - maybe no-one will choose your recording to sing along to - or maybe someone will sing with you and it will be the best thing youve done, at the very worst you have inspired someone - thats got to be good hasnt it?

Diane_BLEVEL 11

Reply by Diane_BGOLD

Well, I guess, it takes all kinds of people to make a world go round...The only recordings of mine that have the duet feature off are duets that I've done with someone else and that seems to be an automatic default setting on the site. Otherwise, mine are open and anyone is welcome to join me, in fact, it would be an honor. It goes to their page and I still have my own recording. Thank goodness the professional folks that recorded all of these songs we sing, or try to sing, don't feel this way. You know, like we can sing all of their songs except for this one, and this one, etc...Seems kinda silly to me but as I said, everyone has their own way of thinking...this is just mine. Please feel free to join me on any of my recordings LadyLexx, if you wish.

Diane_BLEVEL 11

Reply by Diane_BGOLD

And I agree, all songs can have harmony added which would be recorded as a duet here. One of my favorite things is adding harmony to every song I hear. Back-up singers need a lead to follow...

CatBallouLEVEL 57

Edited reply by CatBallouGOLD


The reason I think its being antisocial is that you are actively saying you dont want people to sing with you, and as the resulting duet doesnt appear on your page, or interfere with your original recording I think its a bit chirlish to turn the option off. I would never stop anyone from duetting with me, I find it very flattering and duetting is a great way of making friendships and connections on here.

If you are only wanting to duet with the special people in your life then you are limiting your social circle in a way. Not everyone wants to send private messages begging to do a duet either.LadyLexx

Judging others, by calling them childish does not seem to be a very effective way of making friends, in my opinion. Furthermore, there is no need to beg. Begging indicates a persistence in bugging someone, who may have already given you a response. There is a difference between asking once and begging.

I appreciate its a personal choice, its just not something I would consider doing as I like the interaction of singing with others - thats one of the great things about this site.

LadyLexx


There are other more effective ways of socializing on this site that have nothing to do with duets. There are competitions, challenges, private messaging, forums and even feedback or commenting on songs. Seems to me that the reverse may apply. Singing a duet with no other form of communication between two people is restrictive of social contact.


I would hate to think that some people turn the duet option off because they think they are better than every one else and cant bear the thought of a poor singer joining in making them look bad. Or conversely, someone turning the duet option off because they dont think they are good enough to do a duet with.
LadyLexx

There again, your statement indicates that you believe someone is being conceited by not opening up duets. That is just unreasonable and extremely judgmental. If you want to know why someone has chosen to turn their duets off, perhaps you should private message them asking them for clarification. I'm sure you'll learn that there may be other, more personal reasons. I have my own reasons, but do not wish to discuss these in an open forum. If you would like to know more, please feel free to drop me a pm.

By stating that this is antisocial, you indicate that turning duets off is somehow harmful to this website or its community. In my opinion, it harms noone.

ConnieGLEVEL 96

Reply by ConnieGGOLD

It's exactly what it is... AN OPTION.. an option means have it on or don't have it on....

MandyLEVEL 23

Reply by MandyGOLD

And I agree, all songs can have harmony added which would be recorded as a duet here. One of my favorite things is adding harmony to every song I hear. Back-up singers need a lead to follow...Diane

Well not always, if you record the harmony first, and then let someone else add the melody.

I leave all my songs with the duet option open (unless as stated before it's a special song that I don't want anyone else doing, but then more often than not, if it's been added onto by the person then I'll private my part or delete it, if it's a defined duet that is..daft having half a song on the page no-one else can join in with)...and there are times when I've been on a song that I would have liked to have joined in with but can't because the feature is off...but that doesn't make it anti social of the person to have done it..some don't like harmony, or anything else added to their song.

Most songs are done multiple amounts of times by different people, so if the song you hear doesn't have the feature on, go find somone else that has done it and has left the feature on, and do it with them instead!!

ShyLynnLEVEL 3

Reply by ShyLynn

Cat, she didn't call anyone childish, she said churlish.

CatBallouLEVEL 57

Edited reply by CatBallouGOLD

I personally don't think either word applies, Monique. It still comes across the same way. Especially to me, since I am on of those who has chosen to have the duets off. It just seems to me that saying things like that is assuming the worst about people. IMO: the appropriate action to take, is to ask each person.

There was a time, on another site that someone thought I was being conceited. This person took the chance of looking past this assumption, thank goodness. Once he learned what was really there, we began talking. He is now here in this house with me as a result.

I just don't think it's fair to judge someone like the implication above comes across. I do find it slightly offensive. This all kinda seems like judging a book by it's cover. The only way to find out what is inside is to read the darn thing.

As for people, the best way to get to know somebody or understand them is by conversing with them. I have grown to care and respect a great many of you here on SingSnap. Yes, that includes you Monique even though we do seem to be on opposing sides a great deal of the time. This did not happen because I chose to duet with someone. It happened because of all of the wonderful and sometimes not so wonderful conversations in the boards.

CheekylilvixenLEVEL 2

Edited reply by CheekylilvixenGOLD

Like I said, I normally turn mine off because I already have a duet partner in the song cuz like Cat, he lives with me( he doesn't have an SS account). So, that being the case, it is recorded on my computer/mic. When the duet is showcased on here, I turn the duet option off cuz he is my duet and want no one else to join in on our duet. If I turn it off on other songs it is because I liked the way the song came out and don't wish to add any other voice to it. Plain and simple. If you want to call that conceited, than go for it! Sometimes, we are proud of the song we sang and loved the way it turned out with just our voice. It is an option that I am entitled to have. I have lots of songs that don't have the duet option off and have yet to have anyone sing with them. They only sing with the ones that are duets, if the option for duet is on. I don't assume that people are anti-social or churlish or childish, conceited etc .. cuz they turn them off. It is their choice and not my place to judge them for it.
In my case, I didn't come here to make friends, been there done that been burnt by it. I came here to sing and have fun doing it. I come to the forums for interaction but trust me, I aint making life long friends, just having friendly banter or discussions. It is good for the mind to keep it active.

Diane_BLEVEL 11

Reply by Diane_BGOLD

And I agree, all songs can have harmony added which would be recorded as a duet here. One of my favorite things is adding harmony to every song I hear. Back-up singers need a lead to follow...Diane

Well not always, if you record the harmony first, and then let someone else add the melody.

This is true on SS, however, is a totally backwards way of recording and quite difficult to do also.

I think perhaps you used the wrong words LadyLexx when you said "antisocial". Which I also think is a bit strong. But I also agree with your thinking, I really can't find a good reason for doing so, but that is just my opinion. I think the advice given to you above about singing with someone who has left the duet option on is reasonable.

Well heck, let's clarify this...just what is a good reason for not wanting someone to make a duet out of one of your recordings? or how about, any of your recordings?...Just would like to know...

NovellaLEVEL 109

Reply by NovellaSNAP-STAR +7 +32 +1

12 YEARS on SingSnap today! Happy Snapiversary to me!

I don't even think to turn the duet option off... but I can understand why people do - ESPECIALLY if it is a song dedicated to someone special.

I've sang songs for particular people before and some folks went and duet'd the song.. it didn't bother ME so much, but it bothered who it was sung for... especially since I actually spoke "This is for so and so" in the introductory instrumental.

When folks do turn off their songs, I don't think it's a conceited thing. Singing is a personal thing for some people and not everyone is comfortable with sharing it. I think it's a bit rude to even question their motives. There are thousands of people on this site - surely there is someone 'else' one can find to duet with... And if it's that important - then send them a PM and express your interest.

Diane_BLEVEL 11

Reply by Diane_BGOLD

Are you suggesting that I have been rude?

NovellaLEVEL 109

Reply by NovellaSNAP-STAR +7 +32 +1

12 YEARS on SingSnap today! Happy Snapiversary to me!

Are you suggesting that I have been rude?Diane

Why? What have you done?

Diane_BLEVEL 11

Reply by Diane_BGOLD

Ha Ha...

TracyB

Edited reply by TracyBGOLD

One good reason to turn off a duet may be that a person only wants their song up for a limited amount of time, and once someone has done a duet with them, they lose control of their song. I have a couple of duets with people who've since made all their songs private--and have mixed feelings about whether I should leave the duets public. Since I've not been requested to do otherwise, I will for now.

Another reason is that some people have taken others' songs and made silly duets of them, hurting the original singer's feelings. A lot of people would probably be glad to make their songs available for duets (for a limited time) if someone asks and has good intentions!

donnyxxxLEVEL 24

Reply by donnyxxxGOLD

it dont metter either way to me cos no one wants to duet with me anyway.....on many occassions i have sung my part of a duet, and saved it,,,and guess what...is stayed like that for weeks after...not one person taking the duet offer up...so i say to hell with it........lol

Saint_PatrickLEVEL 14

Reply by Saint_Patrick

good point about losing control over the song when duetted.i never thought about that.

candi_4687LEVEL 16

Reply by candi_4687

I allow duets on EVERY song... I am just too lazy to uncheck that box! lol Besides that I find it sweet that another person would take the time to sing with me and finish up a song!

Sum_Southern_SugarLEVEL 24

Reply by Sum_Southern_Sugar

i don't think turning off the duet option is anti-social - just the singer's option.

and even if it is, so what? another 20 thousand peeps to 'socialize' with on the site.

but if u leave the option on, then i don't think i need to ask ur permission. u have already given it. (unless ya blocked me already)

ratz - hate it when that happens

Diane_BLEVEL 11

Reply by Diane_BGOLD

Wow, Novella...what a beautiful child...

Diane_BLEVEL 11

Reply by Diane_BGOLD

Agreed, Sum...

A10cgirlLEVEL 2

Reply by A10cgirl

I usually leave all of mine with the duet option open. I think it's really sweet when someone chooses to duet with me. But never thought about it being anti-social when someone chooses not to leave theirs open. I like going through and checking the open duets sometimes to find someone to duet with but will always choose a duet song that states it's open. But I don't have a problem with anyone singing with me on non-duet songs even if they make it funny. It's just good fun!

shadesofblue68

Reply by shadesofblue68

I have disabled duets before because I wanted my wife to be the first person to duet with me......

satineLEVEL 6

Reply by satine

all mine are open if anyone fancies it !!

Diane

Reply by Diane

I turn mine off because.. LOL I can't imagine anyone wanting to sing with me.. I am usually the one who hijacks songs.. And I don't do that very often.. I have no sound mixer so it is very hard to sing a duet by adjusting speaker volumn.. Some other singers songs are very low ...So in that case I am always too loud unless I sit across the room and sing into the mic LOL.

I am not anti social at all.. Just find other ways to do the social thing on here..

sanneLEVEL 11

Reply by sanne

Why do some people turn off the duet function on their recordings? There are a lot of recordings on here I would love to duet on, but they are not open - what's the problem? I cant think of a positive reason for doing it - seems anti-social to me - can anyone change my mind on this?LadyLexx

i always for the most have my songs open for duets.....why don't you click on the songtitle and then you can see many who have done the song, and choose from them....i don't think it's antisocial if people deciede to not have their songs open for duets...that's their choice.

LaNellLEVEL 33

Edited reply by LaNellGOLD

It doesn't bother me one bit. It is a choice that we have. I have noticed, at times, that some of the really good singers have their duet option turned off. I just figured it was because they didn't want anybody to "mess it up." That's cool with me, though. LOL

I am always honored to have people duet my songs, though it doesn't happen very often.

LadyLexxLEVEL 4

Reply by LadyLexxGOLD

It seems that everyone has taken a negative view to my post. I thought I was being open and honest about my thoughts, and I was willing for my mind to be changed, and a lot of you have given me valid reasons, which I respect and had not considered. In my second post I said "I appreciate its a personal choice", and yet I am being accused of being judgmental.

Im sorry that my use of some terms (although I admit my spelling wasnt great) confused some people, but I was really open to a discussion about the reasons for turning off duets that wasnt because of selfishness or boasting.

Now I know that some of you take Singsnap very seriously, and that your songs are "special" either for yourselves or your family, and some of you are worried that someone will record a duet in a hurtful manner (though I have never heard any duets like that). All valid reasons, and I think choice is important - I just wanted to understand that it was possible to make that choice without having a negative, excluding and (I will use the word again, because I think it sums it all up) anti-social reason behind it.

Thank you Singsnappers for giving me positive reasons, so I can feel better about my fellows.

kyafirstLEVEL 52

Reply by kyafirstGOLD

I have to say LadyLexx I have been reading some of the responses with interest here.

I have all my duets turned on .. I think...I don't recall ever turning one off but I did have an "incident" (for lack of a better term) where I did a special dedication to my husband who is a long distance truck driver and is gone for long stretches.

I put in my song comments that it was a special song for us and that I was dedicating it to him. I however didn't even think to turn off my duet option when I saved it. Wouldn't you know it .. of all the songs I have done here someone picked THAT one to duet .. not even a half hour after I posted it..lol

So I can certainly see why people choose to turn thier duets off on certain songs or on all songs (although I still never choose to turn it off )if that floats thier boat.

I know people that have jealous spouses who would be really upset seeing a mushy love song duetted with thier repective spouse so they may choose to turn off duets for that reason.

I think for the most part people aren't being selfish or conceited when they turn off thier deuts (a few perhaps) but just exercising thier right to how thier songs are distributed or used.

happy singing !!

Diane_BLEVEL 11

Reply by Diane_BGOLD

Extremely well said, kyafirst

CatBallouLEVEL 57

Edited reply by CatBallouGOLD

Ladylexx,
First of all, I am going to apologize to you personally for being so rough on you the other day. I took offense to your post and it appears that I may have misunderstood your intentions. If I was indeed wrong, please accept my gracious apology. I am going to share "one" of my own personal reasons for having turned the duets off on my songs. Perhaps this will add to your understanding.

As Novella said earlier in this thread, singing is very personal for some people. I take every song I sing personally or I don't sing it, with rare exceptions. Not so long ago, I left my duets open on another website. People dueted. No problem. I enjoy having people sing with me.

On one occasion not so long ago a person decided to duet with me. We both worked hard on the song, to try and bring out the true meaning behind the song and make the duet special. Once the duet was posted, this person (who shall remain nameless) became attached to me. It was as if I had formed some sort of bond with this person, by simply singing with him. However, this bond was one-sided. For me, it was just a song. For him, it was much more than that.

As things progressed, this person became more and more agitated by the fact that I could not support this bond. I am and was firmly bonded with someone else. Things continued to progress and some sort of obsession took hold. I tried to distance myself, but to no avail. This person decided to interject himself into a place of my life he didn't belong. He began stalking me. There wasn't a safe place on the net. Lo and behold, I had a genuine stalker on my hands and it scared the hell out of me.

As a result of this activity, I felt it much safer to sing with the one I love, the one I am bonded with, the one who really knows me. I was lucky enough to find someone that I have chemistry with musically as well. I adore him and do not want anything to ever destroy that. As I said before, there are occasions that I choose to duet with others, but they are few and far between these days.

No matter how conceited some may think I may be, I do not think I am better than anyone else. I simply shy away from certain things I used to enjoy, because some people take the internet way too seriously. Those that become obsessed can cause enormous fault lines in your life, if you let them. I simply chose to shut down the avenue through which this person interjected himself into my life.

That being said, my duets have been turned back on...at least for now.

Sorry for the novel folks.

KerJLEVEL 8

Reply by KerJ

That is a distressing tale CatBallou. However, didn't the duet discussion that took place the beginning of the obsession, 'when you worked hard on the song' together. act as a catalyst to the misfortune? I think you might just have had the unluckiness of simply meeting up with a disturbed chap. That can happen through many avenues and still could now. I think there are many ways that weirdos can flourish on this site even with duet facilities switched off.

I hear of oddballs pm'ing sexually explicit messages to women on a regular basis and posting offensive pictures around the site just to create disharmony. Why it is done is a mystery to me but then I can't see inside the mind of a nutter.

Maybe this subject has more relevance to a woman than a man since it tends to be men that sexually harass.

(Actually, funnily enough, I have just remembered...I pm'd someone I know quite well on here recently and said 'hey. lets do a duet sometime'. The reply I received was 'well I have just met somebody'!! Seems my request to do a duet was received as 'hey let's sing a song and then get together'. I thought it an odd response at the time but maybe it was pure defence mechanism from what you were saying).

Oh well, my songs are always left open for duets so feel free. Just make sure that you pm me a picture and all your vital statistics too heehee.

JaneymeLEVEL 24

Reply by Janeyme +1

I have often wondered this why turn off duets from some songs, one or two I can understand but when its most of them I find it a bit odd lol all my songs are open, and I dont care if there not duet songs so what, if someone is good enough to want to sing with me Im happy .

JaneymeLEVEL 24

Reply by Janeyme +1

Ker J wrote:-

(Actually, funnily enough, I have just remembered...I pm'd someone I know quite well on here recently and said 'hey. lets do a duet sometime'. The reply I received was 'well I have just met somebody'!! Seems my request to do a duet was received as 'hey let's sing a song and then get together'. I thought it an odd response at the time but maybe it was pure defence mechanism from what you were saying).

Hey Ill duet ya and Im married! lol

ConnieGLEVEL 96

Reply by ConnieGGOLD

Lol@your duet story Ker-J !

NovellaLEVEL 109

Reply by NovellaSNAP-STAR +7 +32 +1

12 YEARS on SingSnap today! Happy Snapiversary to me!

Cat - I had no idea... That's sad. Makes perfect sense to me why you would avoid that sort of thing happening again. As for acting as a catalyst; just because you put effort into a song does not welcome a stalker. Who would have known? Clearly not Cat but she will not do it any longer for that reason.

Anywho: I've had a few bad experience (mind you, my songs are still open). I prefer to sing with one special guy, especially love orientated songs. I, like Cat, have a tough time singing a song 'just because'. I usually need to have some emotional connections - whether it be serious, sad, happy, goofy, etc., Back on Ksolo a man wanted to sing with me and I had agreed but we couldn't really find a song to connect on. His persistence ended up becoming borderline obsessive until I had to tell him to leave me alone and perhaps dueting wasn't the best thing to do. It got to the point where he left the site, his DAUGHTER got in touch and basically blamed "ME" for her fathers depression, etc., I was a very surreal and uncomfortable position... All over a duet.

Secondly, someone on this site decided to create an account to mock me, with emphasis on making fun of my vibrato. They talked like a sheep and continued to duet with loads of my songs. That didn't feel nice, not even remotely. While I can laugh at it now - at the time I sure wish I had the duet option disabled.

Perhaps some people think they're above others, some want to sing with loved ones, some are avoiding catastrophe. Bottom line: try not to assume the worst of a person you don't know because it makes YOU the bad guy.

KerJLEVEL 8

Reply by KerJ

Hey Ill duet ya and Im married! lolJaneyme

Sure, sure...just don't come on to me ok! I'm not that kind of guy.

JaneymeLEVEL 24

Reply by Janeyme +1

I promise only singing lol

kyafirstLEVEL 52

Reply by kyafirstGOLD

Extremely well said, kyafirstDiane

Thanks Diane..

Cat, Oh my gosh!! Really sorry to hear that happened to you and Vella?? A sheep?? good grief!

Well, there we have it folks.. reasons to turn off duets that aren't self serving or conceited..lol

ShyLynnLEVEL 3

Reply by ShyLynn

Aww Vella, what a nasty person to do that to you. You and Cat have presented things I'd never even considered. A duet is just two people singing a song together to me. Nothing more, nothing less. I guess I've been lucky that no wierdos have some calling. Wow, just thinking of Cat's story gives me the willies!

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